At the moment I am feeling immensely guilty because I just dropped Yonah off at Ruchama’s, even though all I’m going to be doing this morning is sleeping and, if I can build up the strength, go to the grocery store (Dad went to yeshiva with Shuie today). To my credit I did go to bed last night with chills and nausea and I genuinely do need more sleep, which I won’t get if I keep Yonah with me. It’s only for a few hours, right? I’m not the worst Mommy in the world. And I did give him an extra peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich…

Dad arrived on Monday evening full of his usual boundless energy — for the record, my father is a superhero; he wears spring jackets in blizzards, walks with the speed of a high-powered Vespa and sleeps maybe 4.6 minutes a day — and ready for shwarma. Pretty soon, he and Shuie were off to the Mercaz and came back with dinner. Dad’s booming “Hello” gave Yonah a little scare so Bug is still tentative around his Zadie. Dad has resorted to bribery by buying Yonah an order of french fries last night; I’m hoping Yonah will go to him without a fuss by the time Dad leaves.

On Tuesday morning, Dad decided he wanted to go to Bet Guvrin, a national park and archaeological site our family visited when we were here almost fifteen years ago. Dad recalled seeing special burial sites there that he just learned about in the Talmud and wanted to see again, as well as a columbarium where pigeons were bred for use in the holy temple. So, off we headed to rent a car first thing in the morning. I immediately thought to myself, “Five bucks says we run into some kind of trouble renting the car…this is Israel, after all.” But I decided to keep my mouth shut to avoid bringing negative energy to our trip. Well, whether I said it or not I was onto something. We had to wait almost half an hour for the car. First, there was damage to the outside that they needed to write up. Then, the gas tank wasn’t full. Then, they had to wrestle the car seat into the back. By the time we left, Dad looked at me and said, “I’m tired. Let’s go home.” Of course we didn’t, but maybe it would have been a good idea.

We got to Bet Guvrin and found a series of rolling, rocky hills. All of the sites were off the main road, so we parked and tried walking around to find them. We did manage to see an ancient olive oil press that looked like a chunky stone doughnut that you roll in what looks like a giant saucer. There was also a log with a few loops of rope tied to it to which the pressers would tie rocks and crush olives. Dad tried lifting the log alone, without the rocks, and said it was really heavy. Dad then decided we should walk up the main road and see if we could find any of the other sites we were looking for. I got the feeling that the main road was just that — a main road — and that we probably wouldn’t be able to find much by sticking to the path. Plus, it curved uphill, which made pushing the stroller oh so much fun. Within five minutes, I was totally tapped out so we headed back to the car and tried to driving to the other sites.

Contrary to popular belief, fifteen-month-olds are not so into archaeology. Around this time Yonah decided that this trip was lame and it was the perfect opportunity for a meltdown. Dad and I drove around in circles for a while before he ran into the information booth to figure out where everything was. They didn’t offer much help; this is Israel, after all. On our last go-round, Dad managed to find a tour guide who told him that the burial sites he was looking for were not at Bet Guvrin, but at Bet She’an. So much for reliving memories past. By then, we were ready to book out, go home, and sleep off our big adventure.

I’ve been feeling badly because I want to show Dad a good time around Jerusalem, but between Yonah not feeling well, me being tired, pregnant and not feeling well, I haven’t been able to show him much more than our guest room. But he assures me he’s very happy to just hang out, sleep and spend time with me. He has been here a number of times before doing the touristy thing, so I have to assume he’s telling me the truth.

Yesterday, while Dad went to return the car, I went to a session with Elana and then we headed to a class given by Avivah Gottleib Zornberg, an intellectual powerhouse with a fantastic Scottish accent. Avivah is an interesting character. Her father was the head rabbi of Edinburgh and an amazing mind. He never had sons, only two daughters, so he raised them to be huge Torah scholars. Avivah’s knowledge is amazing, but she also knows a lot about psychology and the arts, so she tends to tie in outside references to everything she is teaching and gives the characters in the Torah a very human feel. She talked about how although it says in the torah “Veyeshev Ya’akov” (And Jacob Settled), the settling was less a physical one and more a wishful thinking on Jacob’s part. Very quickly, we see that he became unsettled when his sons told him that his beloved Joseph was killed. As much as we think we’ve accomplished everything we need to accomplish, that we’ve reached a plateau in our lives where we can just relax, those things are really not up to us. At any moment, life can be turned upside-down all over again. Avivah suggested that perhaps it was precisely because of Jacob’s decision that everything was “settled” that Gd overturned his life. I enjoyed her class very much, although I had to skip out early to pick up Yonah. I got home to find Dad fast asleep. I was hoping we could go out to dinner but could not manage to pin down a babysitter. It ended up working out because I started dropping big time in the evening and, as I mentioned, ended up going to bed with the chills.

So today, Dad and Shuie are off learning, Yonah is at Ruchama’s and I am going to rest. We’re going out for dinner tomorrow night, Thank Gd, so I don’t have to cook. Tomorrow is the first night of Channukah and my birthday. I have yet to get presents for my husband and son, which should be a good indicator of my energy level. I am praying I’ll be able to get myself out of the house for at least a little bit today and hopefully find something for them. It might also be nice to get some provisions since we barely have any food left in the house.

Okay, enough writing. Bedtime.