People can be such idiots.

Can you tell that I’m in a majorly ticked-off mood? This morning I took Yonah to the grocery and as we were checking out, one of the clerks stood by watching me as I packed all of my stuff into bags. Yonah was kvetching and the woman behind me was already moving her stuff into my section, so I asked the clerk if she would help me — this is the essential difference between American and Israeli customer service, by the way: In the States they practically carry you through the store on a palanquin; in Israel they treat you like they’re doing you a favor by letting you shop at their store. She chuckled a bit and started to help me. Then she said to Yonah, “Maybe Grandma can come and help”.

I almost decked her.

Listen, I know she didn’t mean anything by it. How was she supposed to know that my mother died 5 months ago? But that doesn’t mean it didn’t feel like a sucker-punch right in the gut. It can still hurt like hell, even if it wasn’t on purpose. I decided not to say anything because (a) I didn’t want to deliberately make her feel bad and (b) I couldn’t guarantee that I wouldn’t start screaming and throwing packs of gum at her.

After we got home I attempted to clean out the week-old food from our fridge while Yonah pulled at me and then tried taking stuff off the shelves. Then the milk bag spilled everywhere and I had to clean out everything. Shuie came home and I snapped at him about getting laundry done, even though I was really just upset about the grocery store lady. Can I just say that today is one of those days when I just don’t want to be a mom, I don’t want to be a housewife, and I sure as hell don’t want to clean a damn thing.

I’m hoping that by getting this out of my system here I’ll be able to have a modicum of serenity for the rest of the day, but I’m not sure how likely that is. At least I know that phase, too, will pass. I just hope it hightails it out of here sooner than later.